The Meaning of Death
by a. e. everdeen
Summary: World War 3 has arrived. The whole world is fighting. Only one country shall be victorious. Who will it be? At what cost? This is a story of the creation of the Hunger Games. Songs used-white flag by dido
1. Death has a meaning

Prologue

Death is something most people fear. In this world of torture, it is a safe escape. In this world, nothing exists but death and hate. No one mourns the death, for they are despised. For they are the lucky ones. No more fear, no more suffering. People want to become part of the dead, they long for it. Innocent people have died. Killing has become more than just survival, but a game. A game where you must kill as many as possible, winner takes all. Really all, the winner takes the whole world. This is a fight for power. No mercy. No one shall be spared. The fight won't end till bodies are scattered everywhere, and one country remains. Blood and gore. Nothing but blood and gore. Over power? Has the world gone mad? Yes, and the innocent shall pay the price. Let the games begin. Maybe if you're lucky, death shall be quick and painless.

**Hello a.e. everdeen here. This is a story about life before the Hunger Games, and how we came to the point of creating the Games. I hope you all enjoy it. I know this has nothing to do with the story at this point, but may the odds EVER be in your favor.**


	2. War's Victim

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Hunger Games. If I did…that sentence should never be finished.**

James is on the battlefield. He is holding a rifle, no protection equipment whatsoever, the government just simply ran out. All that's on his mind if his family, his wife, son. and two girls. He just wants to get home to them; he didn't even feel that the war was something that should be going on. But he had to keep them out of this, they couldn't witness what he's witnessed.

All he has seen since the moment he has arrived is death. Way too many people to count. He tries to have some sort of funeral service for them, but it's hard. The military just discards the bodies like they are nothing. A bullet glides by his ear, tearing off some skin. He runs to hide behind a bush, and starts digging. He doesn't want to kill anyone, well anyone else.

The day before his best friend, Mark, went on a rampage. "What the fuck are you doing? James shouted. "Freeing you all from this hell." Mark screamed. He shot a bullet at James, but luckily he dodged. But it hit another solider in the shoulder. He went down like a bowing pin. James rushed over to the man. He grabbed a hold of him and rested his head on his lap. This man had been one of his kid's teachers. "Harry?" James asked. "My hands have been stained red with blood. I didn't enjoy killing at first, but now it's becoming more and more comfortable. London Bridge is falling down, and it isn't coming back up." The man gasped, and then his eyes shut. That's when James realized that his leg was soaked in blood. James set the man gently on the ground. Two more gunshots rung in the distance. He could hear screams that were desperately calling out for help. Three more gunshots. James had to take this into his own hands. He quickly raced over to his tent and grabbed his rifle. As soon as he came out, Mark was there, holding a small pistol. Tears were running down his face. "I'm doing y'all a favor why can't you realize that?" James pulled the trigger. The bullet made contact with Mark's chest. James pulled it a second and a third time, to make sure that he'd be dead. Mark stumbled, and then fell to the ground. "Free at last." He mumbled. The wails of the others could be heard. James did not have any medical knowledge, so they couldn't be saved. If only he had taken that medical course his wife suggested he'd take before joining the military. One of them had dragged themselves over to him. It was a woman, and she was covered in blood. She extended her arm out to him. "Avenge me." She whispered. Her face fell to the ground, and never came back up. After ten minutes, the wails finally stopped. They were all dead.

James burned the bodies that day, since if the military had discovered what happened he would be executed on the spot. He was soaked in blood, so he thoroughly washed his clothes in a nearby river bank. No one witnessed the event. He could still see the face of his friend, the mad look on his face. All of this was running through James's head. His hand touched something metal. Oh no. The next thing he saw was a flash of white and he was gone forever.

"I will go down with this ship. I won't put my hands up and surrender. There will be no white flag above my door. I'm in love, and always will be." Sami sang this as she was walking home from school. Sami was a pacifist like her father. She felt that the war was stupid, a waste of time, and an excuse to murder innocent people. Her father, James Johnson, was currently fighting in the war. Only because of the law though. He loved his family very much; she couldn't see him killing someone. He probably just watched as the barbaric and inhuman battles occurred. She hoped that the war would be over soon, so he could finally come home. She missed him deeply.

She reached the small white house. Sky would most likely already be inside, or at a friend's. Sam would be at school for another hour or so. Sami walked up to the black iron gate that protected the house. It was locked. Sami opened a pocket from inside her backpack and grabbed the key. She unlocked the walk, and then opened the large gate. It creaked open. That thing really needs to be oiled. She made sure to relock the gate, and then she walked up the porch steps. On the door was an envelope with the letters USA on it written in cursive. Oh god, she thought. She slowly opened the note.

We would like to inform you that James Johnson has passed away. Please send another from your family to take his place, as stated by law. Remember, war is the answer.

Sami tore the note to shreds. They could've at least said that they were sorry. Sami raced to the kitchen. She opened the cupboards, and grabbed a wine glass. She threw it to the ground as hard as she could. Sky heard, and raced down the stares. "Sami what's going on?" She asked. Sami grabbed the biggest shard she could find. "Dad's dead." She screamed. "He didn't deserve it but he's dead." Sky started to cry. "Sami don't." She said. Sami stabbed herself in the hand as hard as she could. Sky screamed, and then fainted. She slowly took it out. Then she stabbed it into her arm. She moved it to create the shape of a heart in her skin. Sami could feel herself losing consciousness. "I love you daddy." She said, tears running down her face. Then she passed out.

**Thank you to who ever are reading this. Thanks for putting up with me and my insanity :p. You all deserve awards or something. Can't give you awards, but give yourselves a pat on the back. It's as close as your going to get. Review please!**


	3. 1 goodbye, another farewell

**Disclaimer: I wrote this. That should be a good enough warning.**

The government came the night afterwards. They took everything that James had owned. Clothes, medicine, even pictures of the man. The government told them that the dead were useless and shouldn't be mourned; the dead only took up space that could be used by the living. The living was the only thing that had mattered to the government. All that was left of James was a chair. A chair he had made himself, from nothing but a block of wood. No one had sat in that chair except him, and now no one dared to sit in it. The family had a family meeting. "Ok everyone so who's joining the military?" Alicia asked, the widow of James. "I will." Sam stood up, face expressionless. "No!" Sami and Sky screamed at once." "Sam I can't lose you like we lost daddy." Sky said, her eyes red from crying so much. "Sam you're my big brother, we need you." Sami said. She tried to hold back the tears, but realized it was futile. She collapsed on the floor, crying all of the tears she had tried to hold back the whole day. "What choice do I have?" Sam said. The family gathered together in a group hug, most likely their last.

"Sam don't go!" Sami yelled. "You know I must, or they will kill us all. You know that I can protect myself." He said. Sami detected a little deception in his voice. But she didn't say anything. Sami gave her big brother a big hug, knowing that it could possibly be their last. The mom was at work, and had said goodbye earlier before. Sami had never seen her mom cry so much before. Sky wasn't out there either, she usually dealed with these situations by cooping herself in her room all day.

"Hermano." Sami said. "Hermana." Sam said. Sami could tell that he was trying to fight back tears. "Te quiero no me dejes." Sami cried out. "I must, you're the man of the house now." Sam said, chuckling. "Oh grow up." Sami said, trying to hold back her laughter but failing at doing so. "Your Spanish is getting pretty good, I'm so glad that I've been teaching you." Sam was smiling. Sami hadn't seen him smile since the war started, so this made herself smile.

"Samuel Edgar Johnson it is time to leave." A man said from behind them. They both turned around. The man was dressed in a full military uniform. "Adios." Sami and  
>Sam both said at once. Sam walked to the car, a black Cadillac, and opened the door, stepping inside. The door closed with a thud. The man walked onto the other side, opening the door, and then slamming it. Sami stared into her brother's face. It was expressionless, but Sami knew her brother well enough to know that he was scared for his life. Sami watched as the car drove off, until it became nothing but a black speck in the distance.<p>

**Present**

Sami's cut became a scar, doctors saying that it'll never heal. She looks at it everyday to give her hope, hope that the war would soon end, that her brother will return home safe and sound. She felt that the war would teach everyone a lesson about violence, that it was not and would never be the answer.

For the six month anniversary of her father's death, Sami decided to write a poem. Her father had always lover her poetry, even though most of her poems were forbidden according to the government. But she didn't care about the government anymore, since they had done nothing but cause her harm. She sat at her desk, holding a pencil in her hand. Her writing journal was opened to a blank page. No matter what, she couldn't think of what to write. There was only one way she was going to get anywhere with this. She opened up her Macbook and turned it on. She had received it as a birthday present for her 11th birthday seven months before. It asked for a password. She typed the forbidden word into the computer. Freedom.

It let her have access to the computer. She clicked on the Safari button. Quickly, she typed in a website url. Not just any website, . A website created for people that wanted to listen to music that the government had banned. All of Sami's favorite songs were on there. She scrolled through her playlist. One song stood out from the rest. Slipped Away by Avril Lavigne. She opened the drawer underneath her desk, pulling out her headphones. They were pink and covered in black skulls. She plugged them in, and then put them on. She had listened to it so many song sthat she knew all of the lyrics by heart. Sami scrolled her mouse over the play button, and then clicked it.

"Na na, na na na na na. I miss you, miss you so bad. I don't forget you, oh it's so sad. I hope you can hear me, I remember it clearly." Sami saw the note flash in her mind. "The day you slipped away, was the day I found it won't be the same." Sami saw her stabbing herself in the arm with the shard of glass and giving herself the scar. She then stared at her scar. She knew what she had to write. Sami place her hand on the paper and began to write…..

**Thanks for reading :D . RIP DJ you are missed. This chapter is dedicated to you. Please review!**

**Translations-Hemano-brother**

**Hermana-sister**

**Te quiero no me dejes- I love you don't leave me**

**(sorry if it's off I used google translate for the last phrase)**


	4. The Girl in the Mirror Part 1

So there Sam was in a military training camp. Training was only about a week long, since they needed as many solders on the battlefield as soon as possible. The government wanted to make sure their solders were smart enough not to shoot themselves in the foot though. Right now, they were giving Sam a buzz cut. His gorgeous honey hair reached his chin; just about every girl was obsessed with it. He watched as his hair fell to the floor, his life falling along with it. "Ok Samuel we're done here." Sam looked into the mirror. This person was not Sam, not it was someone foreign. "Gee…thanks." Sam responded. He got up out of the chair, punching the mirror as hard as he could. "Thanks for nothing." He screamed at the stylist. The stylist looked appalled at what he was hearing.

Sam's hand was dripping in blood. It was screaming "I'm hurt", but Sam ignored it, for the physical pain was nothing compared to the emotional pain. Numerous glass shards were stuck in his hand. Sam ran out of the room. "Stop!" The stylist yelled. But Sam didn't listen. Sam ran down the hallway until he reached a door with the numbers 436 etched on it. He pulled out the keys from his pocket with his uninjured hand, and unlocked the door. Sam opened it, the looked behind him to see if he was being followed. There was a trail of blood leading to where he was. "He went that way!" Someone shouted. Sam shut the door, locking it behind him. "Let us in." A man exclaimed, pounding his fists on the door. Sam raced into the bathroom. He turned on the faucet, the splashed some cold water on his face. Sam's entire face was now covered in his own blood. "I see violence has done you no good 'eh Sammy?" Sam looked up into the mirror.

It was a little girl, the age of about five or six. She had angelic blonde hair which was in perfect little ringlets. She wore a white tattered dress, and was clutching a small brown teddy bear in her small, fragile arms. She was completely covered in blood. "Saire….." Sam said, not believing what he was seeing. She was staring at him with those innocent looking blue eyes she had always used to manipulate him when they were kids. "I'm surprised that you remember me, you guys never talk about me, Sky and Sami don't even know what I exist!" She was screaming now. She walked up to Sam, touching his forehead. Images of that night filled his head.

**~13 years ago~ **

Sam was chasing his older sister. "I'm gonna get you Saire the fairy." Sam collapsed, laughing as hard as he could. "Don't you dare ever call me that again." She yelled. She raced over to him, and then pushed him to the ground. "Mommy! Saire pushed me!" Sam yelled. "Did not!" "Did too!" "Did not!" The mother walked outside. "Oh ok you two come inside for some chocolate chip cookies." She said. "Yay!" The two cheered, trampling each other as they ran inside. Sitting on a wooden table was a plate with a dozen or so chocolate chip cookies.

"Thanks Mommy!" Sam and Saire exclaimed. "Sweeties I have to go to the neighbors, I'll be back in twenty minutes. Do you two mind staying here by yourselves?" "We can handle it." They said, grins on their tiny faces. "I see that I can trust you two enough, be good!" She walked out the door, blowing the two a kiss as she walked out.

"Sammy we are getting' old." Saire said, talking in an old granny voice. She hunched over, and pretended to be walking with a cane. "Where's Kitty 56? I last saw him with Kitty 72." The two burst out in laughter. "Saire you're gonna be a cat lady?" Sam asked. Saire stuck her tongue out. She reached over to the plate, removing a cookie from it. She flung it at Sam, and it hit him in the face. "I got you!" Saire yelled. They threw cookies at each other until none were left. After the great cookie massacre, they both decided to look at the clock. Their mother had left an hour ago.

"Saire where's Mommy?" Sam asked. "I don't…" Saire was interrupted by the sound of the door swinging open. Their mother collapsed to the ground, a knife sticking out her back. They both rushed over to her. "Mommy are you ok?" They asked. Saire pulled out the knife from her mother's back. It was covered in her mother's blood. Saire let out a bloodcurling shriek. "Oh, I'm afraid your mother isn't ok." A voice said. "Now move you brats."

**This was originally supposed to be a long chapter but I chose not to. The next chapter probably will be though. If you haven't figured it out by now, Sam is adopted. Why did the mother leave her children all alone? That should be explained in time. You will find out what happened to the father in the next chapter. Please review! **

**~ a. e. everdeen**


	5. The Girl in the Mirror Part 2

**Warning: This story is rated Mature. That should be warning enough.**

"No! Make it stop!" Sam screeched. He jerked back, and then looked at his hand. It was now bandaged. "I bandaged it myself while you were out." Saire shrugged. Before Sam could say anything else, she retouched his forehead.

**~Mother~ **

She hurried out the door. She had to get high, and fast. She was going through severe withdrawals. Her vision was getting burry, her whole body trembling. She finally reached the neighbors house, and pounded on the door. "Contrasena?" A man's voice asked. "El caballo no esta lejos de ser el agua." She responded, voice trembling with every word she said.

The door opened. "Hola Jamilla, Eliza is in the den." The man said, speaking in a British accent. He was wearing a suit, along with perfectly white gloves. Not a speck of dirt on them. "Hola Edgar, still a butler I see." Jamilla stated. "Ah yes, pays mighty fine." Edgar responded. The house didn't smell a thing like smoke, since Eliza hated giving away a free smoke.

Eliza stood up, wearing a long silk red dress. Red like fire. Jamilla never understood why someone running a drughouse would dress so nice. Eliza held a one pound bag of marijuana in her hand. "$75.50." Eliza said demandingly. "You owe about $550 in drug money, now where is it? You know what happens to people who disobey me do you? The money is due right now darlin'.

Jamilla scavenged through her purse. She could only find about $50. "Can I just give you this now and pay the rest later?" Jamilla asked. "I am afraid not darlin'. Edgar kill her." Eliza exclaimed, a smirk on her face. Jamilla was overcome with fear as she watched Edgar pull out a dagger. "She has two kids, torture them, kill at least one, kill them both though if they resist. "Yes, my lady." Edgar responded.

He ran towards Jamilla. He swung the dagger by her face, but she ducked and it sliced through the air. "Ah Jamilla, I thought you would've learned to pay up since your hubby died." Jamilla felt and overwhelming sense of guilt. Her husband had been killed by her last dealer, since she couldn't pay for her addiction. She didn't report it to the police, for fear her children would be taken away. They still thought that one day daddy would return home.

She grabbed the door handle and slid open the door. She raced out the back door, running towards the wooden fence. She climbed it as quick as a squirrel. "London bridge is falling down." Edgar sung. He was right behind her. She ran down the sidewalk to the gate. "Falling down, falling down." Edgar continued to sing, only a couple feet away from her. She unlocked the gate, then ran up the driveway. If only she had taken the time to unlock the gate. Edgar was still right behind her. She reached the steps, only to trip and fall face first into the wooden porch. "London bridge is falling down." Edgar sung. Jamilla pushed herself off of the ground. She felt a sharp pain in her back. "My fair lady." Edgar sung, opening the door.

**~Sami~**

Daddy I love you

You've never left my side

Even though death dues us part

We haven't really parted

I feel you in my heart

See you in my dreams

You are forever a part of me

You always told me

Never give up

As you pushed me on the swing set

As I was growing up to the person I am now

Never say never

Was your motto

Don't give into your fears

That you are haunted by

You said

You should tell your fears that you are not afraid

And scare them away

You always give me hope

Hope is what keeps me going

I hope somehow, some way you can read this

And know that I love you

**~Sam~**

"I can't believe she was still using drugs." After what happened to dad too." Sam collapsed to the ground. He cried, and cried, and cried. He cried until he could not cry anymore. "Sammy it's ok." Saire said. "No, no it's not. She is the reason dad is dead, and you're dead, and even for her own death." Sam screamed. "She knew that what she was doing was wrong, yet she still continued to do what ever the hell she wanted." Saire looked scared. "Sammy, you always said that that was the devil's language, that you would never speak it." "I don't fucking care!" Sam shouted. Saire started to cry.

"Saire….I didn't mean to yell." Sam whispers. His sister had always hated yelling. Her soft blue eyes turned white. She unfurled her wings. They turned from white to an ash color. She reached out one hand, and grabbed his neck, lifting him off of the ground. He couldn't breathe. "You shall learn!" She yelled in a demonic voice. She was choking the life out of him, with only one hand too. "Saire…stop!" Sam shouted, barely being able to get that out.

Saire dropped him. He hit the ground with a loud thud. Saire's wings turned back to white, and her eyes turned back into their original blue. "Sam I'm sorry…. I just got so angry." She whispered. But, he was unconscious, so he couldn't hear her. She walked over to him again, touching his forehead.

**~Sky~**

Dear Daddy,

It has been six months since your passing. I just wanted you to know that I love you. I should've been there the night you left, and when Sam left earlier today. Don't tell anyone, but I know he's not coming back. I still remember the look on Sam's face when

she found out you were gone.

I have always kept my feelings bottled up, but lately have been finding it hard to do so. I've been hurting so bad, I've been thinking about killing myself. I know, nine year olds shouldn't be thinking about that kind of stuff, but I just can't help it. Everyday is just a day to me. Life no longer has any meaning.

Mom and Sami have been very distant. Even Sam has started to become distant. I feel so alone on this Earth, so unloved. Do you still love me? If you do, please send me a sign. Anything would do, I'd even accept spinach (and you know how much I hate spinach). Just some kind of sign that you are watching and still love me.

I hate the fact that you died in the war, but truth is I agree with every aspect. Only one country should exist, and that one country should rule over the entire world. That way, we will all be united. Isn't that what you always said Daddy? That we should all be united?

I can't tell Mommy, Sami, or Sam how I feel though. They feel that the war is stupid and that it should end. So, I just put on my happy face for them and join in on their conversation about how wrong the war is. How can I tell them how I feel? I love you Daddy, always. War is the answer.

Your daughter,

Sky

**Sorry this didn't turn out as long as I hoped. So now you know how the father died. Should I include a chapter with the story of how he died? Please review!**


	6. The Girl in the Mirror Part 3

**~Saire~**

Strange men come into our house. Sam goes in front of me, trying his best to act as a human shield. On the inside I know, there is nothing he can do to save me. I am not as innocent as he thinks I am, not as oblivious. Death has come knocking at our doorstep, and the presence is not welcoming.

"Hello children." The man smiled. I look over to see my mom lying lifeless on the ground, a knife sticking out of her back. All of the self control I have had all my life, just simply vanishes.

"Mommy!" I yelled. I started to make my way towards her, but Sam grabbed a hold of me before I could. "Bastard!" I screamed. The man stopped laughing. I started to tremble, and Sam seemed to be uneasy as well. We both run together to go check on our mother. "Mommy are you ok?" We both say at once, once we get to her. I see the knife, and I know that I have to get it out. Slowly, I pull it out of her body. I know if I do too fast, I can severely injure her.

Once it is out, I realize it is completely stained with her blood. I led out a bloodcurdling shriek. There is no way mom is going to live. There is no way. "Oh, I'm afraid your mother isn't ok. Now move you brats." The man says. He pulls out a gun. "Give me the knife." The man demands. "Saire, give him back the knife." Sam urges.

But I don't want to. Instead of giving it back or stabbing the man with the knife like most people would, I hug it. I hug it so tight, I can feel the blade cut through my skin. But I don't care, this is a part of my mother I would like to keep with me forever. The man just laughs, finding this all so very amusing. I will not shed a tear, I refuse to. I have already shown fear, I refuse to show anymore. The man places the gun next to my head.

"If you know what's best for you, I suggest you give it to me." "Saire…please." Sam whispers, not being able to hold back the tears. I have never seen him so scared in his life. Reluctantly, I let go. The white dress mother had bought me for my birthday had now become stained with her own blood. Who could have imagined such a thing happening?

"Little girl, I am not just a bastard, but hell itself." He whispers into my ear. "Knife…knife…give me the knife." I beg. "No." He says. I do not like to follow orders. I reach forward, easily taking the knife from his grasp. I start digging it into my wrist, the outside world does not exist anymore. What brings me back into reality is my brother's scream. I look down at my wrist. It is bleeding. Not just a little, but a lot. I then scream, finally realizing the severity of what I have done. The man is laughing, he is proud of the pain he has created.

My wrist is stained with crimson, a color I would rather it not to be. "Saire…" Sam starts to say. "Upstairs!" The man screams. Sam and I both obey like dogs obeying their master. Each step makes me weaker, any hope for survival fading. I stop for one second, praying for my brother to make it out alive and for me to be a sacrifice. "Move bitch." He screams.

The first door on the left is the door to Sam's room. "Get in." The man states. Sam walks in, trying to be strong for me, but the weakness is showing. Before I can finish walking through the door, the man pulls me back. He pulls me back so hard, I hit the wall behind me. Everything hurts. "Saire!" Sam yells, reaching out his arm to lend me a hand. Before he can get to me, the man slams the door shut and locks it.

"I love you!" Sam yells. "I love you too!" I scream, finally losing it. The tears are falling down, there is no stopping them. I know this is the end, and the worst part is that I never got the chance to say goodbye. I am bruised, beaten, and dead inside. Now, I am about to be dead on the outside as well.

"Get up. Now." He says in a voice that tells you whatever is said must be done without any hesitation. My body is so weak, I am barely capable of getting up on my own. He leads me to the end of the hall, where my room is located. Once I get in, I run over to my bed to get my teddy bear. Sam had saved up his allowance for weeks to get me this. I want to die with it in my arms.

I hug it as tight as I had the knife, if not tighter. I expect him to pull the trigger, and instant death, but instead he hits me in the head with the gun. I black out immediately, collapsing to the ground. I am not dead, but on the verge of death. He grabs a pillow case, and places me inside of it. Then, he walks towards my table, where my favorite silver glitter duck tape is. He wraps the duck tape around over and over and over again until he is positive I cannot breathe. I still clutch the bear in my arms. Death comes soon after, and my only regret is that I never got to achieve what I wanted to in life.


	7. The Girl in the Mirror Part 4

"I never knew…I didn't know…. I thought I'd never know." Sam says. He collapses on the ground in tears. Not even the pain he feels in his hand can bring him back to reality. He is shaking. So overwhelming, his brain is trying to comprehend everything. It cannot though, it refuses to. "Sammy, it's ok." Sarie said, giving him a big hug. He pushes her off of him, and she hits a wall. He hears a thud.

"Are you ok? Please don't give me a hug…" Sam says. "I'm fine, I didn't feel any pain. I'm not full dead right now you know." Sam stared at her. What was she exactly? "I have regrets. They keep me from being able to pass on. Odds are, I will spend an eternity on this earth. Forever and ever." Saire collapses on the ground in tears. "I want to be able to move on, I really do. I just regret so much…that bastard. That bastard!" She screams. Sam knows that the fear from that night has returned.

Sam gives her a hug. He feels he does not deserve one, but knows Saire deserves far better. "That bastard, he broke us, didn't he?" Sam says. "Yes…now when you eventually die odds are you'll be left to wandering the earth like me. Do me a favor, have no regrets. Achieve your goals, your dreams. I do not want you to end up like me. It's hell, a true hell. I have to go, leave you now. If I stay any longer, it could change your fate." Sam feels like a child again, the child he was, the child he still is. He reaches out his hand to touch her face. It is cold, it feels solid, but not quite. She slowly fades away, so his hand now hold air. "Damnit." He yells. He takes a shard of glass from the ground, and starts digging it into his wrist. "Coping, this is the only way I know how to do that anymore." He mutters to himself. All that is on his fragile mind is to stop the mental pain. Extremes he'll go to. The only thing that matters it to find a way to calm himself down. The anger is impossible to control, and he is too scared to try. It has just exploded on him.

He digs and digs until he reaches blood, which satisfies him enough to stop. "I never thought I would do anything like this." He whispers, again to himself. "But it is too late now, what is done is done." He drops the shard, which is stained with his blood. It breaks into smaller pieces. "My heart, is, was that shard. I am nothing. Death I am ready for you. Just come, I am not afraid anymore."

**~Sky~**

Dear Daddy, I shall be joining you soon. I'll make sure Mommy comes as well, I can't bare the thought of leaving her alone. Sami will do fine on her own, she seems angry with you for some reason. But I don't see a reason for her to be. You died for the right reasons. I don't see a single thing you have done wrong. So you killed a couple people, big deal. They deserved it. I miss you so much. Everyday living without you, is just not worth it. I am sick of communicating through a stupid journal, you can't even respond back. I'm not going to just simply wait for our reunion, that will take time. Time, I am not willing to spend or waste. I want to hear your voice. I want to see your presence. I don't care what I'll miss on Earth, I really don't. I'm not going to miss much, no one loves me here. I am going to go, I have plans to make.

**~Sami~**

I stare at my scar. I can't believe the control, how much of it I had lost. I wanted to make a statement of love to him. I expected to die that day, and wouldn't have cared if I had. Death is what I deserve. I touch it, and a flashback enters my mind. The shard digging into my skin, how amazing that felt. I stop touching it, and the flashback ends. I can feel a tear coming. So much emotion had built up that day, and I had no way of controlling it. I just, lost it.

I could sit here and try to describe it, but I can't. I just can't. It's just unexplainable. Trying to make sense of that day is impossible. I want my dad back, I would give up my own life so he can have his back. Sky and Sam need him, but I don't. I miss the old him, not the monster he had become. I just want an explanation.

"I see you are confused, do you want me to try to explain?" I jump back. Where had this voice come from? All of a sudden, a little girl appears in front of me. I grab the nearest weapon, which happens to be a pair of scissors, and point it directly at her. "Hey, you look a lot like Sam." I say. In fact, she did. The facial features are almost exactly identical. It's almost like Sam was in front of me, though he is actually nowhere near here. I'm not even sure if he's still alive. "Next you'll be telling me you are him or something." I say, laughing. "No, but I am his sister." I drop the scissors, and they hit the ground.


End file.
